Saturday, May 16, 2015

Where I have been ...

Its been a while since I have done an about me post and recently I have had lots new followers so here is me, in a nut shell! :)

I am a married mommy of 3 soon to be 4. I had my first in 2004, 2nd in 2005 both were unexpected. At the time I was working full time. I had seen an ad for surrogacy and decided to explore it. While in the process I was laid off from my job and became a stay at home mommy. This was the first time I had an opportunity to think about what I really wanted in life. I had thought about getting another job but my husband insisted that I just stay home with the kids and let life slow down for a little while. That did not last long. A month later I found myself signing up for classes at a local community college that put me on the track to the nursing program. Took 4 years to get all my pre-reqs done because of how long I had been out of school. In the meantime I gave birth to 3 surrogate babies. 1 boy in 2007 and boy/girl twins in 2009.
The day finally came and I was accepted into the actual nursing program. Classes started fall of 2009. In my second year of classes I was pregnant with our 3rd baby and decided to take a break for a year. It was a very hard decision because I only had one semester left until graduation but my program was very strict. I would have had too many days off, especially if I was unable to VBAC. Also bonding and breastfeeding were very important to me. I finally went back in spring 2012 and graduated.
Again finding myself a little lost with nothing to do I started homeschooling my children as it was always something I wanted to do. I also started a free mommy fitness group in my hometown that grew to over 600 mommies!
In some way starting the group was the best thing ever. I loved connecting with other fit minded mommies and loved doing little giveaways for race entries to encourage more people to find their dreams as well. In the mist of all this I decided to run my first marathon. I had to jump with my eyes closed as I had never run more than a 5k. I signed up and 9 months later I crossed that finish line and became a marathoner!
Right after my marathon I decided to carry another surrogate baby that ended up being twins again! I ran through my 20th week and by week 24 I was put on full best rest. No nothing. Up to the restroom and that was it. I delivered full term twins last September. Baby A came VBAC - yay!!!! and Baby B turned so he was deliver via c/s. They refused to turn him since I was VBACing.
About 2 months into my pregnancy I got a call one evening telling me my brother had just been killed. He just returned a few months before from Afghanistan and a drunk driver hit him.... Its been over a year and I still feel as though I am trying to process this.
Later into my pregnancy I started having some very rude and hateful comments and feedback thrown my way about how I was not taking care of my group as much anymore. It ht me very hard seeing how it was people I thought were friends and rather than doing something about it that I knew was going to cause a huge problem, I left the group all together. This created a huge downward spiral for me into a very dark PPD period. The people who said this stuff to me knew I was struggling and kept the comments coming. It was the hardest few weeks of my life trying to lay low and just let things blow over as it seem to just be getting worse.
I tried to move on right away and started a new group that was people I trusted only. It definitely was not the same and no matter how hard Ive tried, it is not going to be my first group that I grew from a baby and put some much time and love into it. I decided to just lay low and really focus on me and my family.
We had really been wanting a 4th baby so I kicked up my exercise again and really overhauled my eating habits. I started my whole 30 again and did some walking here and there (I was not as successful jumping back into exercising like I wanted to be ..). I ran . umm mostly walked ... a 50k with a friend and really enjoyed it. Right after I broke my toe really bad and was sidelined a bit. I kept up my whole 30 for 2 months when we finally found out we were expecting.
Right after we got our news I started spotting really bad. I was so worried so I did as much relaxing as possible. Then the morning sickness hit me like a ton of bricks (makes me think its a girl... lol!). Still trying to push my way through the HG but I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel coming very soon. I am hoping once that goes away and my energy returns I can get out and do some more exercise soon.

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